25 October 2006

The Last 30 Pages.

I love this job right now because things are really slow right now and I've been able to work on Symphonians daily! And get paid! Of course the payback will come in a few months, when it sounds like I'll have to sleep at my desk and proofread in my sleep. So I'll take what I can get.

Discovered that I have 30 pages left to mark up, and then I'll type in corrections. yay! Except ... I'm getting discontented by everything I've written, and I mean everything. I'm going, why do all the changes have to be imposed on Kay from outside? Except for that winter camping trip that she takes to get away from Carter; what the hell was she thinking? And what does this trip do for the novel's structure and Kay's conflict overall? The final confrontation sucks of course. And is there enough motivation for Carter to suddenly go off the deep end and try to drag her to Omaha? And on and on.

I'm going, stop already, let's just write the damn thing first before we go tearing it up. But my brain has some kind of Action Agenda of its own, and apparently "nitpicking" is at the top of the page.

I'm hoping breathing exercises and B.B. King will help. Also slouching in my chair with my chin on my folded hands, my face in a frowny pout, seems to help. Or that's how I usually find myself when I get thinky.

No comments: